Charlie felt very proud of turning five this year. Every night while preparing for sleep he would say 'cuddle me tight'. If we loosened our hold, he would immediately say, 'cuddle me tighter!' But on the night of his fifth birthday Charlie felt certain that he had achieved a new level of independence and did not require such a tight embrace. So he said, 'Not so tight Mum, I'm five now.' So mum relaxed her hold. A few seconds later, Charlie said, 'A little bit tighter, Mum.' Shortly after he said, 'More tighter please Mum.' Then, finally, he said, 'Cuddle me really tight Mum.' And from then onwards, normal service was resumed. We cherished the incident because it showed how completely comfortable he felt in asking for his emotional needs to be met: even the stirring of independence could not overcome his joy in connecting.